NOIT Web Page Proofing Division Plans Protests over Coffee Switch
The lives of several hundred web page proofers at North Oakland IT will never be the same. That’s the opinion of Hattie Slovitz, Chief Web Page Proofer. She and a few dozen of her fellow WPP workers say they are "stunned and horrified" that the Chief of Coffee Procurement switched brands without going through the official Brand Change procedure.
"Why wasn’t the Committee for Brand Change or the Subcommittee for Coffee Brands notified? Why weren’t the petitions circulated? What’s going on here?" stated the highly emotionally disturbed Hattie.
When challenged about his flagrant disregard for policies that have been in place for decades, John Slovitz, Chief of Coffee Procurement, said "Ah, huh, hem, uh, what?"
Web Site Crashes, Technician Shrugs
When the web server at North Oakland IT crashed last month, not to be seen again for several weeks, staffers never noticed. Lonnie Bogaran, technology "whizzer kid", walked by the blue-screened server several times that month and wondered when someone would do something about that. "Yeah, it looked kinda funny with all that stuff on the screen, but I thought somebody was working on it".
In other news, no one noticed the strange beeping noise coming from the primary file server, resulting in a loss of pay information for several staffers.
Small truckload of money requested by North Oakland IT staff
In a move that surprised everyone except those not involved, our technical staff is requesting a "small truckload of the green" from each of our clients and prospective clients. They’re apparently banking up for a new Xbox and a plasma screen on which to play it.
As "Management", we’ve instructed the technical staff that any plasma screen delivered to us by any customer will be installed on the customer site and that any attempt to have one installed here will be met with the most extreme protest on our part. We don’t put up with this kind of activity without our direct involvement.
North Oakland IT Thinks Outside of Box, Embraces New Paradigm
In a meeting held today at North Oakland IT, it was decided that we would begin thinking outside the box and embracing the new paradigm of corporate synergy.
We also decided that this mission-critical function is win-win as we bring value-added solutions and resources that leverage our skill sets and exploit our core competencies.
We, in short, have really got this on our radar.
